Dr. Patty Ann Tublin answers your questions about bosses and budgets


(WTNH) — Relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin answers your questions on bosses and budgets in her Tuesday Tips of Success.

Sam from Milford:

” The VP of my department is a really smart guy and I get along with him well enough. The problem is most of the other people in my department can’t stand him. They find him to be rude, arrogant and insensitive.  Should I try to help him or mind my own business?”

Dr. Patty Ann:

“Thank you for your question Sam. The answer depends on several things. You can try to help your VP  IF:  

1. He is open to suggestions coming from you and I’m not so sure that is the case.

2. If he is, find a way to let him know he is violating the corporate culture and/or  “unwritten” rules of the company that clearly states everyone should be treated with respect. In other words – the company values people being NICE – regardless of who they are. IF however, the VP is not open to constructive criticism coming from you – or anyone else – you could bring his behavior to the attention of  HR. However, I would but be very careful here too – it may backfire on you as most people do not want to hear bad news.  So unless you can guarantee all of the above, my suggestion is you mind your own business.”

Lori from Ansonia:

“My husband went crazy when he found out how much money I spent on the kids Halloween costumes! I decided I’m just not going to tell him how much money I spend on this kind of stuff anymore – but I know that’s wrong. Any advice Dr. Patty Ann?”

Dr. Patty Ann:

“Lori, thanks for your question and my very first piece of advice is to make sure you don’t go sneaking around – spending money on the kids – or anything else – and not tell your husband. This is being dishonest & you don’t want to bring dishonesty into your marriage. Here’s my advice:

1. Have a conversation about creating a budget for the holidays: Halloween, Christmas, birthdays etc – because these things come around every single year.

2. Ask him how much he thinks should be spent and why.

3. State how much you want to spend & tell him why.

4. COMPROMISE. You might want to lower your budget for one holiday to increase spending on another holiday.  Look at this as a yearly budget issue. Hope this helps.”

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