(WTNH) — Relationship Expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin answers your questions for her Tuesday Tips for Success.
Chris in East Haven:
“My boss always asks for my opinion but she never seems to take it. I spend a lot of time thinking about how to best answer her question on my thoughts for the projects we are working on and I’m really getting kind of annoyed. Should I stop spending so much time and energy to provide a thoughtful answer since she seems to ignore my input anyway?”
Dr. Patty Ann:
Chris, thank you for your question! Here is my advice:
- Be Grateful that your boss respects you enough to ask your opinion. (attitude adjustment)
- Clarify you are hearing the correct question she is asking. Maybe she is not taking your advice because you are not answering the question that was posed. You might be sharing a great idea you think you have the project however that idea may not be answering her question. We can sometimes be blinded by our enthusiasm.
- Absolutely continue to give her your opinion. Just because she does not appear to be taking your advice, the fact that she continues to ask your opinion suggests that she values you as an employee -and maybe even a thought leader. Additionally, you probably don’t have all he information that she has regarding some aspects of the projects.
- Finally, do not take her rejection of your opinion as a rejection of you – this is really an expansion of point # 3
Robert in New London:
“”Since my wife starting her own business about a year ago, she never has time for me and everything seems to be all about her business. How can I get her attention again?”
Dr. Patty Ann:
Thank you for your question Robert. Believe it or not, you are not alone as women are entering the entrepreneurial world at record pace. Here is my advice:
- At the risk of being Captain Obvious, have you told her you are feeling neglected? I don’t mean have you implied it, I mean have you really told her.
- If the answer to #1 is no – schedule a time to sit down with her – free of all distractions, i.e. no phones, no kids, no internet, no TV and let her know:
you miss her
- Try to agree to schedule alone time to re-connect – it doesn’t have to be going out to a fancy dinner but it must be an activity that allows for “real” communication.
- Ask her how you may help her to free up her time – either in the business or with the kids/home to let her know you are supporting her – however you don’t want to lose her.
Send your question to Dr. Patty Ann.
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