(WTNH) — Relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin answers your questions for her Tuesday tips of success.
Brenda in East Haven:
“I love my work – but I don’t like my boss. He is verbally abusive, has his ‘pets’ and refuses to answer my questions about projects he assigns me. I want to move to another department within the company but I’m afraid my boss will sabotage this by speaking badly about me to other managers. Unfortunately, I cannot leave this company at this point for several personal reasons. What should I do?”
Dr. Patty Ann:
What you should NOT do:
- DO not TRASH talk about your boss. Continue to work hard so that you do not come off as a negative, complaining, disgruntled employee who is always complaining about the boss.
- Do not be oversensitive about anything – remember you need to work with this boss – and remember that it is NOT all about YOU!
What you SHOULD do:
- Remember that with constructive criticism you are given an opportunity to learn – DISCUSSION. Be aware of the messaging your body language is giving off.
- Begin the process of building relationships with other managers in an appropriate way to help you create a relationship that will separate your relationship.
Robert in New Fairfield:
“My wife often wears ugly clothes– and when she asks me how they look on her– I lie and tell her she looks great. Is this okay or should I be truthful?”
Dr. Patty Ann Tublin:
- Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, therefore, just because you have a different taste in clothes doesn’t mean that her taste is ugly and yours is beautiful.
- Put it in perspective – does it really matter?
- Be pro-active and take her on a surprise shopping spree – not to control what she buys but to put yourself in a position to influence her choice – in an appropriate way.
Send your questions to Dr. Patty Ann Tublin on Twitter: @drpattyann.