Dr. Patty Ann Tublin answers your questions on work relationships and friendships

Good Morning CT at Nine

From problems with workmates to friends, relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin has you covered!

Tommy in Guilford: I do not trust my co-worker anymore for several reasons. I think she is going behind my back talking about me and undermining my work. Is there anything I can about this?

Dr. Patty Ann: A Great question Tommy – thank you for asking it.  We can’t change anyone else’s behavior but our own. So here is my suggestion – take a long hard look at yourself and see what you may be doing to contribute to the situation.  If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem! Before you get defensive with this answer, remember there is no such thing as a one-handed clap.  Then, once you’ve looked at your own behavior, approach your co-worker and tell them your concern – beginning with YOUR role in the problem.  And then actively listen to how they respond.

Katie in Danbury: My girlfriend, whom I adore, is a terrible parent. Whenever we get together with our pre-school age kids, her daughter is a total brat! Should I tell her?

Dr. Patty Ann: Katie, this is not an uncommon situation for many friends.  You love your friend but you don’t love the way she parents.  Understanding that you must be sensitive to the sensitivity that the hardest thing to tell a woman is that you think she is not a good parent – very gingerly hint at the fact that her kid is not playing nicely with your kid, or behaving in well in general – she how that goes.  If she gets defensive drop it and then limit your interaction with her to adult get togethers – for a while.  I’ve done that and although it does limit your time with your friend – it helps you keep your friendship.  Hope this helps.

Send your questions to Dr. Patty Ann Tublin on Twitter: @drpattyann

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