If you’re stressed at work, or stressed hoping Mother’s Day goes as planned, relationship expert Dr. Patty Ann Tublin shares her Tuesday Tips of Advice.
Alyssa from West Hartford:
“Everyone in my office loves to complain about everything. It drives me crazy because I always try to be a positive person but it is hard when everyone around me is negative. Any suggestions to help me change this? “
Dr. Patty Ann:
When people start complaining – about anything – ask them the following questions to open up for discussion.
1. What do YOU suggest and/or think would make the situation better? Discuss.
2. How would you suggest WE go about implementing this change?
3. Whom should we ask to JOIN us in a) getting approval for this change – if it needs approval from management
Marion from Waterbury:
“Mother’s Day is Sunday and my husband wants to have both our parents over for dinner. I have 2 problems with this. 1) ” I am not fond of my mother in law. 2) I don’t want to do all the work – but I dont want to start a huge fight. Any ideas on how to handle this situation?”
Dr. Patty Ann:
Here are some ways you might want to handle this situation – especially because Mother’s Day rolls around every year!
1) Let’s tackle the easy part first. Tell your husband that you need him to do the lion’s share of the work – because you don’t want to do it. OR tell him the meal needs to be catered. Whatever you go with, let your husband knows you are not slaving away all day long on Mother’s Day.
2) Now let’s tackle the harder part of your question.
Have a very serious conversation about how you feel about your mother-in-law – and why. Although this is a very emotional subject, for both you and he,
3) try to stay as calm and in-control as possible during the conversation
4) avoid words that may act as triggers like “hate” “stupid” “nosy” etc.
5) Be honest with yourself and see what YOU can do to make this situation better. Is it that difficult to spend a few hours with her – really?
Send your questions to Dr. Patty Ann on Twitter: @drpattyann.