Relationship expert weighs in with Tuesday Tips


Helping you handle any problem life throw’s at you, at home or in the work place, with Dr. Patty Ann Tublin.

She joined us on Good Morning Connecticut at 9 to answer your questions.

The first question came from Loretta in Ansonia:

“My co-workers are ALWAYS taking credit for my ideas and it makes me so mad! What should I do to prevent this from happening, without being accused of not being a “team player” and being told it’s “not all about you?”

Dr. Tublin says:

“Thanks for your reaching out Loretta and I can feel your frustration as I read your question. My suggestion is to document your ideas, in writing, and then send them out to whomever you want to know that a great idea is yours.  My guess is that would be your managers -or even other co-workers. For example,  let’s assume you’re brainstorming in a group meeting and you come up with an awesome idea. My suggestion is to follow up this meeting with an email, summarizing ALL the ideas that were expressed, attributing who came up with what idea. Making sure you include ALL ideas should help you avoid the “it’s not all about you” accusation, since you are crediting ALL ideas – not just your own. Hope this helps you Loretta.”

A second question came from Karen in Bethel:

“My husband wants our family to go on vacation this summer with his family *again*. I love my in-laws so that’s not the problem. The problem is my brother and sister-in-law. They are so cheap and never offer to pay for anything. Am I wrong to not go on vacation with my husband’s family because I do not want to feel taken advantage of?”

Dr. Tublin says:

“Karen, of course you are not wrong for not wanting to be taken advantage of – that is not the issue. The issue is whether you want to deny your husband and kids an opportunity to vacation with their grandparents and cousins  Therefore, my suggestion is for you to clearly let your husband know how you feel – without making him feel as if any of this is his fault (which we tend to do b/c its “his” family). Then have him (or the two of you together, as a couple), communicate to all your in-laws what your financial expectation are for this vacation. My guess is you want everyone to be responsible for their own expenses, which is totally reasonable (of course sometimes the grandparents treat and you can treat too – IF you want to not b/c it is expected of you). Good Luck!”

You can be sure to send your questions to Dr. Tublin @drpattyann on twitter.

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